Developing Emotional Regulation to Improve Your Life
Before committing to my wellness journey, I realized I wanted to change, but wasn’t sure where to start. Should I move to a new city, get another job, or go to the gym more? I knew I wanted better opportunities, experiences, and relationships, so I started with my mindset, most importantly, how I regulated my thoughts, emotions. Emotional regulation, also known as self-regulation, is essential to effectively improving your mindset and actions. Its official definition is the ability to manage and respond to one’s emotional state healthily and productively. In this blog, I’ll share how emotional regulation affects aspects of your life and how regulating and using coping mechanisms can improve the trajectory of your life.
Improving Responses, Reactions, and Relationships
Emotional regulation significantly impacts our social well-being and how we interact with others. Studies show the correlation between our thoughts and emotions and how we act towards others. For instance, poor emotional regulation can prompt poor responses like passive-aggressiveness, anger, or volatile outbursts in moments of emotional overload. The best way to picture this is by considering the stereotypical teenager depicted in movies. They are typically portrayed as moody, rude, nonchalant, or insufferable. Although films overdramatize teen rage, emotional regulation can still be challenging for this age group. But this is shared amongst all ages. As adults, we still have to work on self-regulation, and we will find that this is a lifelong process. New jobs, friendships, relationships, and family members will each require us to adapt to new dynamics and responsibilities. Once you understand your emotions and know how to regulate them, you will be able to respond to challenging situations in a way that’s honest but beneficial to the interaction. You will respond professionally to demanding work situations, prevent unnecessary arguments with your partner, and react maturely in less than ideal situations.
Personally, I have significantly improved in how I navigate and articulate during intense or important conversations. It’s important to note that we all have personal triggers, mannerisms, and conditioned responses.
Increasing Drive and Productivity
Our emotions can also affect our ability to complete tasks or be productive. You may feel tired, unmotivated, or too stressed to wash clothes, do the dishes, or cook dinner. This is occasional for most, but shows up as frequent for those suffering from forms of depression and other mental health conditions requiring therapies and treatment. In less severe cases, this can be handled with a simple shift in perspective or regulating unproductive emotions. Understand that even though unmotivated, you can still show up for yourself and get things done. The more you prioritize productivity, the less negative emotions you associate with completing tasks. This forms a new perspective, positive emotions, and develops an upward spiral.
Going from never cooking to cooking a few nights a week or from not cleaning to having a set weekly cleaning day takes time. Adopting effective coping mechanisms facilitates these changes.
Develop Effective Coping Mechanisms
Effective coping mechanisms improve our emotional regulation, giving us better ways to manage difficult emotions and situations. While some coping mechanisms can provide short-term relief, some offer long-term relief, both require effort. Short-term coping mechanism helps you in the moment. Good examples include breathing techniques, countdowns, or distracting yourself with an outing. Coping mechanisms that offer long-term relief are exercise, therapy, and hobbies. With consistency, exercise reduces the effects of chronic stressors. Therapy or wellness coaching offers the tools to approach emotions better, providing social support and professional guidance. Hobbies increase your sense of self and become ingrained into who you are as an individual, offering an emotional outlet.
I have used a combination of these mechanisms to improve my emotional regulation and use them regularly for mental maintenance. If you wish to build your coping mechanism toolkit, I suggest starting with one of the long-term strategies and shopping at my wellness store for items.
