Your Dating Style: Five Things to Consider When Dating
When it comes to dating, it's heavily influenced by your culture, age, maturity, lifestyle, etc. Honestly, the list goes on, but what is important to note is that dating is different for everyone, and for you. Dating in 2026 doesn't have the best reviews. Many are complaining about the lack of emotional regulation, commitment, or options. The truth is, dating can be a lot more fun if you focus less on finding the one and more on learning about yourself. Do you know what you are looking for and what connections will benefit you the most? Let’s take a look at five things to consider when dating.
Know Your Dating Style
Before getting back out there, consider your dating style. This requires some introspection and honesty. Know how many people you prefer to date at once; some can juggle many suitors, while others only have room for a couple. Some can only date one person at a time. What is your maximum? What does your schedule allow?
What experiences do you wish to have? For example, you may prefer brunch and dinner dates over movies. In this case you will pair better with someone who enjoys the same.
Another thing to consider here is pace. Everyone comes into dating with their own ideal of what's best for them. Therefore, some are looking to date with hopes of entering a relationship soon. Others are looking to meet new people and take things slow. Remember, there is no ideal way to date, but knowing your personal needs prevents misaligned dates and helps you avoid wasting your time.
What is Your Dating Style?
The Lover Woman: You are very romantic, date intentionally, and are looking for a deep connection. You like to focus and not juggle too many people.
The Sprinter: Passion-driven, and likes intensity, you don't mind dating multiple people, and tend to get over endings fast.
The Bohemian: You like to go with the flow, but prefer things not move too fast. You enjoy dating multiple people, but slowly.
The Brick: Your walls are up; you let one person in at a time, then close them out eventually. You will cut someone off for the smallest violation.
Emotional Chemistry & Intelligence
Once you start making connections, emotional chemistry and compatibility will determine if these relationships will last. Emotional chemistry involves communication, conflict resolution, accountability and empathy. The first “fight” in a romantic connection can reveal a lot about the other person's emotional maturity. And yours. Are you or they defensive? Is it handled in a mature or immature way? Also, consider how you feel toward this person during the disagreement. Did you want to cut them off immediately? Or were you willing to work on it? Although you can't read the other person's mind, try to consider if their responses revealed a willingness to work with you, or if they preferred to leave.
When it comes to emotional compatibility, there is no right or wrong. Each person is different and on their own journey. Unfortunately, some people may not be able to match your capacity at the moment, or you may not be able to match theirs. No matter the case, what’s important is learning and improving your emotional regulation and conflict skills throughout the dating journey.
Mature Ways to Handle Conflict:
Respect Your Perspective and Thiers
Use “I” Statements
Listen to Understand
Find a Common Ground
Take Accountability
Avoid Inappropriate Reactions
Physical Chemistry & Attraction
Having physical chemistry may seem obvious, but for some it's not that easy to determine. Some people don't know their type yet. But for most, dating will help them further understand who they are attracted to and why. For example, you didn't know you preferred taller men until wearing heels had you looking down at your date. Where one woman might be uncomfortable in this situation, another may not even see it as an issue. This is the art of physical preference. You may prefer a specific race, body size, or hair color, and that’s okay. It’s important to start understanding what you find physically attractive so you don't run into barriers in the future. There's no reason for you ever to force yourself to like someone. This is common for women to be more humble or to compromise on looks. But as we learned from our male counterparts, it's important to go after what you want. So if there is a physical attribute you don't like, you should let that person find someone who's more compatible. The same goes for sexual chemistry.
Lifestyle Compatibility
Lifestyle compatibility should be considered in serious dating that may lead to a relationship. In a sense, you would want to see whether this person's life will mesh well with yours, and vice versa. Do you travel often and wish they could come with you? Or do you have many hobbies and commitments? Maybe you will prefer a partner to go to the gym with. These are major considerations, as your partner will need to integrate well into your life. This doesn't mean you and your partner should be the same, but lifestyle compatibility can make or break a connection.
***For example, I prefer to eat on the healthier side. However, I once dated someone who didn't care about what they ate. And they have that right. I saw myself making compromises in my diet to make them comfortable. I didn't want to be seen as the health nut girlfriend. Eventually, I threw my diet out the window and was eating McDonald's nuggets a couple of nights a week. I don't fault them for this situation at all, as I was the one who didn't stand on my personal lifestyle preferences.
Here are some lifestyle preferences you should consider to prevent incompatibility and major lifestyle compromises:
Health & Wellness
Financial Habits
Daily Routines
Living Preferences
Social Needs
Career Goals
Educational Goals
Shared Values and Worldviews
Another major consideration is values, morals, and ethics. Understanding how someone thinks and views the world is key to real connections. These values are typically revealed through time. For instance, you may learn that someone doesn't want children in the future. Or they have opposing political views. Maybe you practice a certain religion or don't have one at all. Either way, know your non-negotiables, and ensure you find someone who aligns with you.
Common Values & Worldviews:
Family & Community Dynamics
Gender Roles & Responsibility
Social Justice & Equality
Progressivism vs Conservatism
Religious and Political Affiliations
Need Dating Advice?
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